HCW presents to 1MILLIONHOME/Agape Family Reintegration Workshop

You are all Christian leaders. You do the uncomfortable thing because it is right.  You do the hard thing, the right thing.  It is possible, and it can be done.  You can move those children to loving homes, we have done it, so it can be done!

Last month, HCW’s Child Welfare Programs Liaison Mohamed Nabieu (Nabs) presented about his experience growing up in an orphanage to a special panel at the 1MILLIONHOME/Agape Family Reintegration Workshop in Nairobi, Kenya.  Nabs, Ruth Wacuka and Peter Mthui (both from Kenya) shared their experiences as "care leavers," children who age out of institutional care without being placed in a family.  The care leavers are on a mission to help child welfare advocates understand the impact of growing up in an institution, and encourage the the reintegration of families. The panel presentation was extremely well-received by the workshop participants, prompting many follow-up questions.

Having grown up in different countries and orphanages, the stories of Peter, Ruth and Nabs are unique, but they share many similarities.  They are passionate and compelling advocates for children in institutional care, and their stories are gaining a great deal of interest among child welfare programs around the world.  The trio will be presenting again at the World Without Orphans Global Forum in Chiang Mai, Thailand this October.

Helping Children Worldwide is partnering with the 1MILLIONHOME Foundation to prepare and host a week-long Family Reintegration Workshop in Sierra Leone in 2020.  When 1MILLIONHOME learned that the CRC was the first Sierra Leonean orphanage to successfully complete this transition, they offered to help support the workshop so that the CRC staff can train other orphanage directors and government officials to learn how to transition their own programs to family-based care.  

The care leavers had five minutes each to tell their stories, excerpted below: 

• RUTH’S STORY:
  Ruth’s parents were alive, and she was removed from the home because of an abuse situation. There was not enough to eat in the orphanage. Tourists visited, with a negative impact.  She was separated from four other siblings.  There were 300 kids, with only two caregivers. She grew up wanting attention. The needs of the children were treated like group needs, but “our needs are unique.” She was coached to say that she was an orphan even though she was not. “I hated having to disown my grandmother, my parents, my family in order to get an education.”
• PETER’S STORY:
  Peter’s parents died and their six children were separated into different institutions. He struggled to get into a routine at the orphanage; personal belongings were taken, missing love, care, and individual attention, no flexibility.  Eventually he was given to an uncle with whom he had had no relationship for 14 years, who saw him as a burden. Some of his siblings are in prison, and one brother committed suicide.
• NAB’S STORY:
  Nabs says they were treated as a group rather than individuals.  Appearances mattered, but not a lot of attention was paid to what was happening in the kids internally.  He realized that the “aunties” (caregivers) were not his real parents. It felt like a zoo. “Missionaries would come and put us on their laps and lavish love on us, but it was just for 2 weeks. We were told ‘These are your American parents.’  They’d leave and there would be sadness. Our physical needs were better met, but it didn’t prepare us for Sierra Leone society.” The kids struggled to adjust to life outside the orphanage. Many who grew up inside got pregnant, or got involved in drugs.

The care leavers’ presentations were followed by an audience Q&A.

• Question: “How does reintegration impact the child’s access to education?  Do the children stay to finish their education program and then go home, or do they cut their education short at that point?” 

 
Nabs: “[The Child Rescue Centre] continues to support the children’s education after they leave the orphanage, but now they live with families, building bonds, trust, and relationship.  [The CRC] continues to support the child. We have done something very simple. Everything stays the same, we have just changed the sleeping location of the child.  Our organization is now focused on family empowerment, micro finance training, and case management. We are building the family’s dignity to care for their own child. When a family becomes empowered, they are then able to mentor other families.”

• Question: “What would you recommend to us as we work with children to help them heal their pain? Have you healed? 

 
Ruth: “I recommend Singing to the Lions (A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Violence in Our Lives, by Catholic Relief Services) a 10 week program to address trauma. Living in care and exiting cause trauma. Children need one on one counseling with a therapist. So many out there are still not able to talk about their experience. 
 
Peter: “We are good at reacting, not pro-acting. Rather than thinking about how to fix what is broken, let’s focus on the kids in institutional care now - how can we get them home and end the cycle of trauma sooner?”
 
Nabs closed the care leavers presentation with words of motivation and encouragement.  “We must address the cause, not the symptom. We rescue these children from the crisis, but we don’t address the cause of their crisis.  Then when they go back home, they’re back in the crisis. You are all Christian leaders. You do the uncomfortable thing because it is right.  You do the hard thing, the right thing.  It is possible, and it can be done.  You can move those children to loving homes, we have done it, so it can be done!”
 
“We are all broken, but it is well,” Nabs concluded.

Peter, Nabs, and Ruth had the opportunity to meet with 1MILLIONHOME COO Michele Schneidler and pastor and author Francis Chan, who was also a presenter at the conference.